Making Your Marriage Last

A quick search on the web reveals a multitude of tips & tricks to ensuring a long-lived marriage.  Two articles I just came across offer advice from quite different sources - long-married couples and an unmarried Pope!

Sweethearts by Patrick - CC on Flickr

The HuffPost Wedding site article, Tried and true marriage advice, includes pithy thoughts and tips from a select group of 9 long-married couples. My favourite is the advice from 65-years married, Jenny & Manny DaSilva, to touch toes when you go to bed.

And from Agnes and Harry Hutfles, married for 60 years, "You give and you give and you give." And if both are giving, then both are also receiving.

The advice given by the 9 couples may seem trivial, and I'm sure their suggestions aren't the only things that have kept them together over the years through the ups and downs of their long marriages. But as little things that can be done mindfully, they add up, and are positive and affirming.

Pope Francis also has some tips on how to achieve a healthy, happy marriage. His advice can be summed up in 3 words - Please, Thanks, Sorry.

Speaking on Valentine's Day to 12,500 couples, Francis said that courtesy, gratitude and contrition shown towards the other can go a long way to ensuring a lasting marriage. Again, it's about the little things being done mindfully to affirm and respect each other.

Celebrants Online welcomes ...

Funeral Celebrant, Jenny Tacken.

Based in Melbourne's South Eastern suburbs, Jenny offers personalised & caring Life Tributes. She works closely with the bereaved to create a fitting tribute that commemorates a loved one's life, personality & achievements.

In addition to Funeral ceremonies, Jenny also celebrates Naming Ceremonies & Pet Funerals / Memorial Ceremonies.

To learn more about Jenny, visit her profile on Celebrants Online.

Get Married for $36,200?

Wow, do you have a spare $36,200 to devote to your wedding day?  Apparently, that's what it'll take to get yourselves hitched! At least, according to the latest data from ASIC, the Australian Securities and Investment Commission. ASIC's data comes from 400 online responses to a survey it ran on its MoneySmart website in December 2013.

Check out the infographic here at Lifehacker. You'll see that, apparently, couples spend about $18,000 on catering, almost $4,000 on photography and almost $3,000 on flowers.

So, where does your actual Ceremony fit in to this picture? At just over $900, that's where. And I'm guessing that figure includes photocopying your order of service and other minor expenses, as well as your Celebrant.

Your Celebrant is the one who celebrates your ceremony, lodges the paperwork and ensures that you are legally married. Without that involvement you aren't actually married! All the rest - $35,000 worth - is really just a party. Pretty expensive party if you ask me.

Getting Married in Bali?

Are you among the growing number of Australian couples planning to get married in Bali?  If you are, take care that your Bali wedding planner is legal.

The Bali Wedding Association is a new organisation of registered wedding organisers. Currently, the Association has about 100 members.

Deden Acep Saefulloh, Chair of the new organisation, suggests that couples ensure they have a means of contacting their planner other than just email address. Office address and phone contact is a good start. He also advises using locally-based planners rather than an overseas-based planner that may not be fully aware of all the rules and regulations relating to marriage in Bali.

Inter-caste Marriage

In many western countries the marriage issue that garners the most press is that of marriage equality or same-sex marriage. But in many other countries there are other marriage issues that concern young and old. I came across this article by Prayas Raj Koirala about inter-caste marriage.

From a Times of India article on inter-caste marriage

In India, many of the arguments against inter-caste marriage sound similar to those against same-sex marriage:

• - against tradition
• - break down the family / society
• - sinful
• - disrespectful to one's family

It's interesting to learn of the struggles faced by others throughout the world in relation to getting married. We might like to think that marriage is a personal act but Prayas and the Times of India article remind us of the social and political elements tied up in this ceremonial act.

Marriage Equality for Scotland

UK Dept for Culture, Media and Sport

Scotland has become the 17th country to legalize same-sex marriage. With a vote of 105 to 18, Parliament was overwhelmingly in favour of the change.

The new law should come in to effect later this year. Religious organisations which opposed the move to marriage equality will not be made to celebrate same-sex weddings on their premises.

A government consultation prior to the passing of the new bill resulted in over 77,000 responses - a record number of responses that indicates the huge level of public interest in this issue.

Read more about Scotland's historic decision here.

Shortening of Notice Period

Here's a heart-warming yet terribly sad story of a US couple who were married, with a shortened period of notice, due to family illness. Aly & Anthony Femia arranged their wedding within a 24-hour period after Aly's mum was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer.

BuzzFeed's telling of the story of the couple from New Haven, Connecticut has lots of photos of the happy/sad occasion.

Aly & Anthony celebrate their wedding at New Haven Hospital.
Picture by Aly Femia.

Getting Married in Shortened Time

Australian law says that you can get married a month after lodging a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) form with a Marriage Celebrant. Sometimes though, a couple may need to get married sooner than that. Is that possible?

Yes, indeed. There are some circumstances for which an exception may be made. In each of these cases an application for shortening may be filed - with the Prescribed Authority - for consideration. The 5 circumstances are:

• employment related or other travel commitments


• wedding or celebration arrangements, or religious considerations


• medical reasons


• legal proceedings, or


• an error in giving notice

The above are the only situations in which consideration may be given to shortening the one month notice period. There's no guarantee that a shortening will be granted, so couples should never bank on their application receiving automatic approval. You can see the type of situations that may be considered here on the Australian Government ComLaw website.

Click here for the official Application to shorten period of notice of intent to marry.

Coming Out for Marriage

It takes courage to come out and stand up for difference. It takes particular courage for people of faith to come out against the tenets of their faith. And so, it is gratifying to discover people of courage willing to come out in favour of Marriage Equality.

Rev. Andrew Clive Millard is such a man of courage. He's a Virginia clergyman who will be standing up for Marriage Equality on February 14, St. Valentine's Day, the day that traditionally celebrates Love & Lovers. Rev. Andrew will join other people of faith as a Witness for LOVE, standing up for Marriage Equality in the US state of Virginia.

Read Rev. Andrew's thoughts about Marriage here.

Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of the Peninsula minister, Rev. Andrew Clive Millard

Celebrants Online welcomes ...

Marriage Celebrants Eunice Phipps, CMC and Glenda Belcher, CMC.

Eunice is a Brisbane-based Marriage Celebrant who conducts ceremonies from the Gold Coast to the Northern Suburbs of Brisbane,  Bayside to Toowoomba and Beaudesert.

Humbled by her appointment as a Marriage Celebrant, Eunice is totally committed to helping you with your celebration, be it a Wedding, Naming, Commitment or Renewal of Vows.

For further information about Eunice, visit her Celebrants Online profile.






Glenda Belcher, CMC lives in Daylesford in Central Victoria. As a former secondary school teacher, Glenda is highly skilled in writing ceremonies. She prides herself on being caring, organised, professional and open-minded.

To find out more about Glenda, visit her Celebrants Online profile today.